Archive for the ‘Cryptozoology’ Category

The internet has gone nutty lately with pictures of the so-called “Montauk Monster,” a curious-looking corpse which washed ashore in Montauk, New York.

Excerpt:

The validity of the picture has been further established by the numerous eyewitnesses who saw the animal on the beach in front of Montauk’s Surfside Inn. Theories abound as to what the animal is and where it came from. Marci Caplis of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service noted that rare and unknown sea animals did surface after the Asian tsunami, and although the recent East Coast storms are not of comparable magnitude, the animal did wash up on a particularly stormy day in the Hamptons.

The question remains:  Just what the heck is that thing?  A monster? A mutated dog? An escaped experiment gone horribly wrong?

These are all the crazy theories I’ve heard so far over the thing’s origin.  Indeed, many have pointed out that the Plum Island Animal Disease Center is located near the location where the “monster” was found, and have concluded that the creature must have been a mutated experiment (or some such) which escaped its evil scientist captors.  I, on the other hand, have what I believe to be a much more reasonable conclusion:

We have way too much time on our hands.

It never ceases to both surprise and disappoint me at how willing we are to settle for the more outlandish explanations for phenomena.  Reason and rationality, it seems, are too mundane for many to be considered as valid approaches to mysteries.  Occam’s Razor is far from a scientific principle, but it’s a valid rule of thumb when approaching seemingly bizarre mysteries such as this one.  We can hypothesize that the creature is a horrible scientific experiment gone awry, a visiting alien which discovered too late that the Earth’s water would spell certain doom for its biology, or even a new species of mammal that has eluded zoologists for centuries, but the simple fact remains that we’re avoiding the more reasonable conclusions… that:

1. It’s the decaying, warped corpse of an already-identified animal.
2. It’s a hoax.

These certainly aren’t exciting answers to respond to, but they’re nevertheless far more likely than the sci-fi-themed ideas many have conjured up so far.

Oh, and some people have hypothesized that the creature is Satan, too.  Keep that in mind when choosing to avoid the simple answer.

Surprised stock spot Sasquatch sauntering in Southern Ontario. Yet another Sasquatch sighting, this time in our home province of Ontario. Two women, Helen Pahpasay and her mother, were out driving when they spotted a “hulking figure”.

“It was black, about eight feet long and all black, and the way it walked was upright, human-like, but more — I don’t know how to describe it — more of a husky walk, I guess,” she told CBC News.

Others returned to the area later and found a large, six-toed footprint, Pahpasay said.

The six-toed footprint is a new one. Everything I’ve ever read about Bigfoot describes it as an ‘ape-like creature’, and I’ve never heard mention of a six-toed footprint in relation to Bigfoot, before.

It’s a shame neither of the women managed to get a picture or a video to aid in the identification of the creature… but an 8′ long, black, unidentified creature in Northern Ontario that stands on two legs, walks with a strange gait, and is frightened off by a truck? Sounds like a bear to me.

Of course, we have no proof that it was not Sasquatch, or that it was a bear.  However, in my opinion at least, the latter is far more likely.  In all fairness to Pahpasay, the article quotes her as saying:

“I’ve never believed it before, no. I’m not even quite sure what it still is today, even after what I’ve seen.”

…but the article is still strongly suggestive of the fact that this could have been Sasquatch; the words ‘Sasquatch’ or ‘Bigfoot’ being used a total of 6 times.

I will say one thing for this article: the token skepticism tucked in at the end is more detailed than usual. For once, scientists are not perplexed, baffled, or unavailable for comment:

Skeptics say it’s preposterous that a large mammal could have evaded detection in North America throughout history. Despite numerous alleged sightings, no one has ever produced concrete evidence such as skulls or bones, they argue, while footprints, film or photos can be manufactured.

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• CBC.ca: Berry-pickers report sasquatch sighting in northern Ontario

You might think that Cryptozoologists are unoriginal. After all, among the imaginary creatures they waste dedicate their lives to include an ape-like being, only it isn’t really an ape because it’s slightly bigger than apes are, and a Scottish Plesiosaur.

Well, you’ve obviously never heard of the Pobobawa.

Popobawa is variously described as either a ghost or ogre with gigantic bat wings and a giant penis. At times he is simply known as “Imran”. He is sometimes thought to be a shapeshifter who looks like an ordinary human during the day. His presence is usually announced by the sound of scraping claws on their roof and a sharp, pungent smell. Different from other incubus legends, Popobawa primarily attacks men and only in their own beds, resulting in many men sleeping outside in streets or on porches after recent reported attacks. He attacks men as they sleep, overpowering them, holding their face to the floor and sodomizing them for up to an hour.

I don’t know what else needs to be said. Really, I’m speechless.

Oh, and Cryptozoologists would like you to know that “there is no questioning that this creature is a spiritual being, a demon for sure.” Be sure to keep that in mind, because I’ve no doubt that it’s important.

Pleasant dreams, folks!